From Psychologies Magazine, July 2009
Ever wondered why some people are social magnets? Sarah Neish finds out
Tune in to others
Charismatic individuals are actually aware of other people's emotions, which helps them to forge connections. 'How tuned in are you to those around you?' asks psychotherapist Richard Reid. 'If you can't tell how someone's feeling, ask them open-ended questions, and pause before you respond. Often they'll add an emotional reaction'.
Hold Fast
Charismatic people have a strong sense of self, so while they're receptive to other ideas they're not easily swayed. If you tend to agree with each view you hear, try clarifying what means most to you. 'Refining your values makes it easier to accept or reject influences that do or don't fit in with your sense of identity and purpose,' says Reid.
Keep a sense of perspective
Charismatic people place little significance on setbacks, seeing them as glitches, rather than signs that they should quit. 'Keep a healthy sense of proportion and don't catastrophise,' says Reid.
Be in the centre
Those with charisma are always at the centre of activity. 'It might feel more comfortable to stay on the edge of social events, but throwing yourself into the middle encourages you to be more animated,' says Reid. 'Shift your mindset towards being a host rather than a guest.'
Find out more about Richard Reid's Charisma Masterclass here
