Become as charismatic as the President

City Focus, City AM, April 2009

Timothy Barber attends a masterclass on the art of developing personal magnetism

BEFORE the phrase was misappropriated by a certain reality TV show, we used to refer to “the x-factor” – that elusive characteristic which some people just seem to ooze, which makes those around them want to hear what they’re saying, and those not around them want to be around them. Most obviously at the moment, Barack Obama has it in spades – the poise with which he speaks, the ease with which he carries himself, mixed with an inner confidence that appears to be iron-clad.

Certain people seem to have charisma, and the rest of us want it. According to Richard Reid, a Harley Street psychotherapist and director of HR consultancy Pinnacle Proactive, charisma is about communicating at your very best – and we can all have it. “Obama used to be much more wooden and awkward, but he managed to develop more of a sense of magnetism over a number of years,” he says. “He had to work on it.”

It can be coached, but it isn’t something that can be switched on overnight. Reid runs workshops in developing a more charismatic persona, in which he teaches interaction techniques that, if rehearsed over time, he maintains will bring results. It’s all about understanding who you are, how you come across and what you are aiming for, which is why I find myself discussing my life goals and passions with a complete stranger on a balmy Saturday afternoon.

The stranger is a Canary Wharf retail banker named Phil who resents his inability to exert a stronger influence on those around him. It turns out that even though he’s sure of the objectives of his team, he’s vaguer on his own career goals – stay at the level he’s at, punch for something higher or move out of banking? He becomes aware that this lack of personal focus has probably been feeding into how he interacts with his colleagues.

Phil’s not alone. Reid has noticed increasing numbers of City workers seeking his services since the credit crunch kicked in – both those wanting to be more effective in galvanising teams during turbulent times, and those wanting to increase their chances of getting a job or of simply avoiding redundancy. As Reid points out, in a depressed job climate where qualifications and even experience are almost taken as read, a person’s ability to strike up a rapport with those around them may mean the difference between being employed during the recession and not.

MIRRORING EXERCISES

I’m one of 14 people gathered for a weekend of personal development led by Reid and his business partner Rasheed Ogunlaru, a public speaker and life coach. Activities include having conversations in which the listener feigns boredom or distraction, mirroring exercises in which we copy each other’s body language, and role-play situations in which one person interviews another while a third provides feedback. Each process can be disconcerting, but we gradually become objectively aware of ourselves and how well (or not) we communicate, as listeners as well as talkers – a charismatic person is a master of both, after all.

These and other body and mind games are fused to a third element – what Reid and Ogunlaru refer to as “the spirit”. True charisma – the ability to inspire interest, trust and respect – they say, has to be backed up by authenticity, the conviction of one’s personal values – it can’t just be a pose. That’s why you need to clearly understand your own passions and goals, because clarity of purpose is key in drawing people to you and inspiring trust.

Am I more charismatic? Best to ask me in a year or two.

BEING CHARISMATIC | TOP TIPS

Have vision and awareness: charismatic people understand the stage on which they operate, and know where they are going. Take time to understand and master your craft and learn about yourself and the people you are dealing with.

Develop crisp, compelling communication: the power to listen, anticipate and articulate is key. Keep your communications short, sharp and sweet, and paint powerful pictures: set the scene, chart the territory and highlight the action needed.

Think about your body language: maintain open body language – folding your arms, for instance, can create a barrier. Maintain eye contact, particularly if you want to emphasise a point, because it makes you seem sincere. Keep your feet at the same distance apart as your hips – having them far apart is aggressive, while too near seems nervous.

Be proactive: charismatic people take the lead. You must take responsibility for your life, your actions, your relationships and your career, and drive them forwards. This is why charismatic people are often groundbreakers.

Be an active listener: you need to understand those you’re with, and to inspire their trust you need to show that you understand them. Be attentive to what they say, and ask them open questions that generate conversation rather than binary answers.

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