Be an Obama charmer
The London Paper, Jaunary 2009
Can you really learn to captivate your colleagues like Barack? As Julia Buckly finds for herself, yes, you can.
If charisma had a face, it'd be confident, smiling and on the threshold of the White House. Barack Obama has charmed American voters and the world at large, but what makes him so charismatic?
Psycholoy professor Richard Wiseman carried out an experiment in which members of the public rated 50 unknown public speakers on how charismatic they were. He found that the speakers rated charismatic had a high 'emotional contagion' or the ability to transmit their emotion to others.
"Highly charismatic people translate how they are feeling via their facial expressions, tone and body language," says Wiseman, who talks about charisma in his book, Quirkoloy. "Facial expressions, and inducing them in others, are key. If you're excited, and people copy and feel that emotion, it energises them."
According to Wiseman, one sign of charisma is being a 'high self monitor' - someone who is very conscious of how they appear to other people. To test whether you are, just trace a capital Q on your forehead as if someone is facing you (do it now before reading on.) If you drew the tail of the Q backwards on the left side of your forehead, so that someone looking at you could read it but you couldn't, you're a high self monitor.
Wiseman says another skill is 'image-centric language', or the ability to relate your point to ordinary people (a la Obama) and projecting a visual image of what you're banging on about that people can relate to.
But could you bottle Obama's mojo? Harley Street psychotherapist Richard Reid thinks so. Along with lifestyle coach Rasheed Ogunlaru, he's launching what he claims is the first masterclass in charisma - a whole weekend of it.
I meet Reid to get a taster. He says that Obama's expansive hand gestures make him open to others. Sadly, I'm less expansive of hand. Am I doomed to have the magnetism of a lampshade for the rest of my days?
Not according to Reid. "Some people are more predisposed than others, but that doesn't mean you can't learn the ropes," he says.
First he picks at my body language. I had brought my knees together and curled my body into itself, putting my embarrassment on show to all. It gets worse. My standard pose for work meetings - leaning back in my chair with my arms crossed - is a confrontational, 'come and get it' position, says Reid.
Add a twitching foot, as I often do, and I'm saying that I can't wait to be out of the room. Instead, I should be dropping my shoulders back, sitting upright and, depending on how bashful I'm feeling, put my legs either slightly apart, or cross them. It's not just about body language. Reid says that everyone's brain is set up to think in visual, audio or sensory terms. Using the right kind of language for the right kind of brain will help how people perceive you.
For instance, a musical person will respond to phrases like "Do you hear what I'm saying?" Phrases like "Does that look good to you?" will appeal to arty types.
Reid insists that the class isn't about making charismatic clones. "It's designed to teach people how to make the best of the qualities they have, rather then creating a whole new fake character," he says.
Does it work? Two days on and I haven't been elected to the White House, but I'm definitely more aware of my body language, and toning down my spiky vibes.
Body Language
With redundancies becoming more and more of a stock headline, the art of job interviewing will be pressing for many of us this year. Psychotherapist Richard Reid takes us through the dos and dont's of interview body language.
Don't
I'm not confident
"Putting your hand over your mouth says that you're not confident in what you're saying. And hunching over like this shows a lack of confidence, too. It's almost like you're trying to hug yourself."
Don't look at me
"Rolling up, claming your knees together and looking down makes it obvious you're uncomfortable. In turn, the interviewer will either try to put you at ease or take advantage and be more aggresive."
Do
It's me you want, honest
"Keep your elbows out. That helps you be more expressive. Having your legs slightly apart makes you seem more open. Open palm gestures also say you're honest."
Look at my good idea
"To draw attention to something you've done, like a presentation or a piece of work, gesture down at it and look at it. They'll follow your gaze."
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